zoyax,Popular 365 Question

Am I the only one who hates this? I mean I know the benefits of this, as it would mean that everyone in the family would have the same surname. Although for some reason iv always hated this. Maybe its just because I'm kind of a feminist? :$

9 months ago 13


  1. Frozen

    It's a personal decision but I can understand your feelings... it bothers me that women are expected by society to do this. It's one thing if a woman changes her name to her husband's because she simply wants to... but what offends me is that society expects women to do it just because "it's what women do." A last name is yours, and you have the right to do what you want with it, just like any other possession. The expectation that women will be forced to relinquish theirs is implying that women are less entitled to own property.

    I really hate my birth surname to the point where I have decided to change it legally (yes it's possible, I've talked to a lawyer about this). I feel like I shouldn't have to depend on a husband to rescue me from this last name, I should be able to save myself from it on my own terms. Part of me would love to marry a kind man with a beautiful surname and take his name to represent a new life for me, but a husband will never make me whole. Hypothetically if I do marry, I want to come into marriage as a whole individual.

    I'm getting off on a tangent, though. What I mean to say is that I feel that it's wrong that women are "expected" to take a husband's last name. I hate the idea of being branded as some guy's property as if I were cattle or some random object. It should be a personal decision. A woman should have a right to keep her name, take the husbands, and a man has reciprocal rights. Honestly guys, if your last name were Fartbomb and you married some woman with a cool Italian last name it would be a get out of jail free card for the guy and you would change your last name. (No offense to anyone named Fartbomb, if that's even an extant name.) If a woman changes her name to get rid of a hated last name and acquire a cool last name (Miss Fartbomb gets married and becomes Mrs. Vechioni, for example)... or if she wants to disconnect from an unhappy past, or just "feel married," then these are all valid reasons. They all, however, apply to men. I think a man who got all butt hurt because his wife kept her own name because she didn't want to be Mrs. Fartbomb is a whiny chauvinist.

    Rant over, and to answer your question the tradition of name changing is a throwback to the time when women were regarded as property, on a par with cattle. People in society are basically sheep and humans have a tendency to do things because it's "what people do" so that makes it an obligation. People eat at Mc Donald's because it's what people do, they have two kids, get the house with the granite countertop because it's "what people do," and women take the husband's name because it's "what people do." Not all these things are necessarily bad, but people should think for themselves. I think it's good that you have feminist values but you also seem to think for yourself and that is very important. If I were a man, and I married a woman with a cool last name I would take her last name... it's possible.

  2. Anonymous

    Like wearing a wedding ring, taking a man's last name is a way of publicly stating that a woman was able to attract and marry someone.

  3. TGB IV The Powerful

    It's tradition.

    Men have always been the ones expected to earn the cash, and taking on the fathers name instead of the mothers name allows the children to carry on the fathers (possible) legacy.

    When feminists are prepared to financially support men, maybe THEN they can be the ones to keep their last names.

  4. Man In Search Of Ans

    Matter of personal choice nowadays .....and if any woman of mine did not do this i would drop her like a hot brick ....i can maximum settle for the middle name being her last name but mine has to be her last .

    this is nostalgia ....i remeber having some monumental debates on this topic with my sweet heart Granny Tea ....oh brother what a woman !!!!!

    I am a humanist and thus i retain my own free will and choice and it goes like this :

    Men will never change we will always want to own and posses our own origin ...thats the way we dicks are ....so take it or leave it and lets have a human walk ....LOL!!!!

  5. WaldoBC

    Women 'should' take their husband's last name... but not as a sign of humility and respect.

    What incentive is there for a man to commit to one woman? Both monogamy and marriage are social constructs to oppress men. So, if I am going to commit myself to one woman for the rest of my life... she has to, at least, take my name.

    The woman should see it as dropping one man's last name (her father's) for another (her husband's). Perhaps this is a part of the tradition of 'giving away the bride'.

    Women think everything "traditional" about marriage is sexist! How many other wedding "traditions" are they going to oppose? How about getting rid of the: diamond ring that costs roughly 5K, wearing said ring on the fourth finger of the left hand, bridal shower, 30 K wedding ceremony, wedding gifts, wedding cake, 'white' wedding dress, veil (that protects the bride from evil spirits), the bouquet (again to ward off evil spirits), Bridal Chorus, bridesmaids, standing to the groom's left, stag party, honeymoon, etc & most importantly the man asking the woman to marry him.

    Women treat marriage like they treat religion; they just pick and choose what they like about religion and reject the rest.

  6. Mabe

    Usually to associate it with her own, so that she has an equal claim to any children they have that will carry the name of their father, and whatever assets they have included together, during their time of marriage. A woman doesn't lose her own name, yet might only use his, rather than both, in keeping it short, and sweet.

  7. Ya Coffee

    This is a leftover from patriarchal tradition. Here is Quebec, Canada it is no longer the case. They changed the law and if a woman wants to change her name upon marriage she must pay $400 dollars for a legal name change.

  8. chickenwing

    Marriage taking names , taking property and money are left over patriarchal traditions .

  9. Lolo

    I think people still do this because it's a symbol of merging their lives into one.

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